Being gay would not only endanger his job and family life, it could also cost him his relationship with his parents, his church and God. Besides, he'd taken a girl — me — out on a date, so how could he be gay? Although the trauma of being a straight spouse or partner can be overwhelming, it is important to realize that the situation you find yourself in is not your fault. Our therapist doubted the marriage could survive, yet I was dedicated to our union if Chris was determined not to be gay. The birth of three children, a threat to your job and financial security, and relocation away from home - these alone are stressful. Then, after he kissed me good-night, he shocked me again, saying, "No matter what you hear, I'm not gay.
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This is difficult to do alone - you will need someone discreet and compassionate to help you work through these feelings. We agreed that the family would follow on. Trans parents: 'Don't allow being transgender to scare you from creating a family'. Does each couple make a personal choice? And, how would I know what designation or term a lesbian spouse prefers? I suppose I was always suspicious, but I was in denial. I was a year-old virgin on our wedding day and a disappointed bride when Chris couldn't get an erection that night.